Why I am Thankful for my Faith.

  If you are in a situation where you feel that your religion has made all the difference, and you are holding on to all that fine tuned doctrine and rhetoric like it's the last jar of snake oil...this message is for you.


  My testimony is difficult so for me to define in terms that one would relate to completely. I believe the power of the Holy Spirit and its manifestations in our lives are unique to the reasons we receive it, and how we receive it. Spending the worst days of my life tied to a religion that made one believe that it, and not Jesus, was the only truth in this world took a toll on me. It did so because religion never could prepare me for the level of faith that I was to find I needed in Jesus Christ and the word of God to work through me. Expecting change from the outside-in is a great way to spin, and spend 20 years in the land of futility.  It has taken most of my life being refined by fire and ice, in seasons I never thought I would make it through; It took me to literally my last breath and heartbeat on this planet to have faith enough to give up, give in and pick up the burdens that Christ left for me to carry so the world would know I was his own. The moment I realized that every decision, every poor choice - every tear I swore was wasted on a pain that was all my own was just His way of bringing me to the point of being so far down and so broken that I was finally humble enough to just say take me Lord - the fire refining me became the fire within me. That is where I live today.

  Most of all, I am thankful. Thankful that he saw within me a purpose and reason to live no longer for myself but for him. Thankful that he placed someone amazing in my life at just the right time ( I mean down to the very minute and second she was needed) that has made a difference I can only repay with my love, trust and devotion. Thankful that he made sense out of the years I only saw as wasted and miserable, sinful and fleshly - he is now going to use my sins to make certain others can be washed clean. Thankful that he even noticed me enough to see anything good in me worth salvaging for his name. Thankful that any lingering questions I had about God, His Son and the power of His Holy Spirit were answered in a way that will change the course of my life forever.

  Most of all today, I am thankful that I know God cares. He cares enough to take the time in his unmeasurable universe to set in play a motion of events spanning the whole course of my life that all came to a head and made perfect sense the moment he poured His Spirit on me with approval, understanding and love, introducing me to the rest of my life. Thirty years of religion could never do what one moment of his love did.

Thankful.