"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"
Lately, I feel like I am robbing those around me of light - of truth - of a message that can save them. I am not exposing the power of the truth of Christ by hiding my light under a basket - taking my candle into a room, and basking it its glow all to myself. There is a reason why this has been on my mind so heavy as of late; chasing one sleepless night after another, peering into His word for the words He has already placed deep within my heart. It is a calling upon my life, coming to fruition. It brings me to a moment of complete abandon, and begs me to make this beautiful transition from living as I will, to living for His will. It takes me deep into prayer to my Lord, and in the quiet, I wait upon His voice. He reaches into my heart through His words, and there He tells me: Now is the time, to tell others.
I look ahead into a future that will be built upon reliance and trust in the truth of the Gospel, and considering the way it has completely changed my life, I have no other choice. I want no other choice. I beg the Lord now, to take this life that is no longer mine, and reach his hand of love and grace through me so others can be drawn to the same transforming truth that I have come to. This is my purpose now. I have never had purpose before. I never had reasons to.
I did have dreams when I was younger. I was going to be a songwriter. I wanted that life so bad, one day I just packed up the Chevy and headed south to Nashville with a guitar in one hand, and the other on the wheel, but still, I had no direction. Life would find me living all over the place: Cincinnati, Ohio - Nashville, Tennessee - Northern Kentucky and all over Colorado - two different colleges - two areas of study, but in them all I found no real ambition. I hated being a rolling stone, but I could never be a rock. Life would bore me with one job I hated after another; countless meaningless relationships that were built upon a sea of lies that I would one day find myself swimming in, all alone. The waves and the wind became my friend, and I became good at navigating these waters - but I would only drift along, never expecting anything from myself but a good time. One day, the good times come to an end, and real life begins. I was never really ready for that, and what I did and did not have was a reflection of how ill-prepared I was for building a life of my own. I found myself, lost among the years and the seasons that I had sewn. I had no one to blame for the rain in my life, and I thought that would never end. This is when, I found the Son.
I have tried every way possible to be happy on my own terms, and perhaps His love and patience allowed me to go through the hell I did, so I could better understand and appreciate His heaven. The one who is forgiven much will love much in return. (Luke 7:47) Understanding and reflecting on God's love and grace in my life has led me to a peace and calm that I would never have found on my own accord. Truth can never be taken away from me, and now, it is the most valuable possession that I have. This truth brings me, to the purpose that my Lord and Savior has had for me all along. I am here, to share His light to this world. People are hurting, everywhere around me. This world is so dark and void of light that many believe the pain is the pleasure, just so they can feel something. So many broken lives are in this world - they scatter our streets and hide in the corners and never find a place that they can call home. Countless children never know what a family is, countless parents never know their children, and countless children never know their parents. Morals have declined to a rock bottom that is now called normal. The bible has become just another book, and Christianity has become, just another religion. Our nation is heading towards a Godless paradigm just to make sense of the injustices and maladies that plague us so unsparingly. Time marches on.
There is one solution to all of these problems. It is the Gospel. It is not cliche - Jesus does save. He is the light, and His light is truth. This truth must be shared. As for me, my light will be upon a mountain. This is my calling. How can I be silent about something like this?